It’s 4:18 AM and I am still up. You see, I am on watch. Today, my mother, who is in the process of dying, managed to get out of bed, past the bed rails, pulled out the catheter that she wears, broke the plastic tubing on the med drip that she has and walked halfway to the bathroom outside her bedroom in our house – all while I walked out to the mailbox to get the mail. So now, even though she has been sleeping for the past 10 hours, we are on a 24 hour watch on her. Making sure she doesn’t get out of bed again for the few days she has left.
The end of life is an interesting time. Full of contradictions. You sleep deeply for hours on end. And then suddenly there is a burst of strength and energy that you never expected. And after it, there is rest.
What comes next, I know. But when it happens, I haven’t a clue. So I sit, and I wait, as she waited for me many times so many years ago.